Delight & Desires

Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (ESV)

I had always read this verse and known in my head that it was true.

Sometimes the line between your desires and God’s desires gets a bit blurred. Sometimes the things you hope for and dream of - the things you desire - aren’t what God desires. Sometimes your delight is in those dreams and not in the Greatest Delight. And when those things happen, there’s almost always heartbreak.

For example...

Spring 2017. I’ve written about this several times, but last semester was a doozy. It was hard in just about every way. And now I’m seeing that a lot of the pain I experienced last semester results from just this: placing my hope and my delight in my desires - the desires that I so strongly believed were God’s desires too.

I interviewed for two of my dream jobs - both were positions that would have allowed me to pour into the lives of young women on my hall, all while going to school nearly debt free this year. When I didn’t get either of these positions that, quite honestly, I believed I deserved, I was crushed. There were lots of tears involved & I’m incredibly grateful for the women that came alongside me and supported me over those few weeks.

But I kept asking this question: Why would God give me these desires only to let me down, getting so hurt in the process?

I knew the cliché answers: God has something so much better in store! He is teaching you about Himself and about yourself in the process. And of course, that verse I wrote a book about, Jeremiah 29:11, the one about God having a good plan for my life, one that promises me a hope and a future.

Again, I believed all of those things…in my head. My heart was a different story. Going into this summer, I found myself in a tough spot. I had an incredible job and was surrounded by the most amazing people, but I felt lonely. I felt discontented. And again, I asked God why. Why am I here in this place, what are you really trying to teach me?

Delight yourself in the Lord.

I’m not going to lie, choosing Jesus this summer was hard. There were so many things pulling at my attention, but I knew after last semester that He was the One Thing that would keep me grounded. He was the only thing I truly needed.

So I ran after my God hard and fast. I walked through a Bible study called Every Woman a Warrior that completely changed the way that I spend time in God’s word, bringing me to a place of knowing God and his word more intimately than ever before.

After a whole semester of God teaching me to be content in Him and only Him, He was teaching me the same lesson all summer and even into this year. He was showing me that I didn’t need anything other than my Savior to find true joy in this life – no matter how difficult each day can be. Because of Him, I can always find joy. I can always be content right where He has placed me and calls me because He is always enough.

Delight yourself in the Lord.

During the summer, I had the privilege of leading a group of high school girls from Rich Fork (my church back home) in a Bible study that I had written (more on that later, I promise). We spent the summer digging into God’s word and the lives of women in Scripture, learning how we can live in purity by looking more like Him in every area of our lives. Those Monday nights were some of the sweetest times I experienced all summer.

As I began to look ahead to next summer - my last real “college” summer - there was only one thing that I really desired: to live out God’s word and make disciples, to pour into the lives of young women and disciple them. That was my heart, my desire.

Delight yourself in the Lord.

Having been so influenced by summer camps when I was younger, working a summer camp seemed to be the obvious choice. The idea was really planted in my mind right after my home church hosted WinShape camps this summer.

I began the applications, looking at several different camps and settling on three, one of those being Camp WinShape. After attending and volunteering at WinShape this summer, my brothers and sister raved about the fun that they had that week. But they also spoke of the intentionality of the staff and the clear desire to make Christ and the gospel known. Their focus on relationships and knowing God's word was exactly what God had placed in my heart. This slowly became my dream job for next summer – my first pick of the three camps I had applied to and interviewed for.

Interviews came and went…and the waiting began. God reminded me over and over again of this desire He had planted in me to simply make disciples. I knew, with confidence, that wherever He placed me, He would allow me to build relationships for Him. And as I waited, I kept reminding myself of just that, I kept going back to God’s word and relying on Him in the waiting.

As I sat to lunch on Tuesday, I got a phone call from Tennessee. Not knowing the number, I didn’t answer. But they left a voicemail which I proceeded to listen to immediately.

“Hello, Bailey, this is Cami from WinShape and we’d like to discuss an opportunity for you to serve with us next summer.”

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. Twenty-four hours later, I officially accepted the position of Camp Counselor at WinShape camps for girls in Young Harris, GA, working with 1st-5th graders for the summer of 2018.

Not only did God fulfill my desire to pour into the lives of young women, He cared about the detail of WinShape.

From February to November, I wondered if God really gave us the desires of our hearts. And on Tuesday of this week, I realized that yes, yes He does. But only when we are fully delighted in Him. When we are fully delighted in the Lord, our desires will match His for our lives. And it’s been His heart all along to fulfill His perfect plan for our lives.

I don’t tell you any of this to boast or to point to my own life – because I don’t have it all together and I still don’t know what the heck I’m doing half of the time.

I tell you all of this to point to the character of our God, the faithfulness He will show in fulfilling His promises to us, the grace He gives to take the heartbroken moments and redeem them into an unfolding of His perfect plan in His perfect time.

So I give thanks to the Lord, I will make known his deeds and wondrous works among the nations (Psalm 105:1-2).

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I had always heard the truth of this verse, but now my eyes have seen Him prove Himself faithful and gracious and loving in every season (Job 42:5).

And I can tell you with confidence that when you delight yourself fully in the Lord, He will give you more than you could ever ask for or imagine.